


Good student

by nikita834



Series: Never leave you [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Ass to Mouth, Blow Jobs, Bottom Louis, Dark Harry, Dildos, M/M, Multi, Non-Consensual Blow Jobs, Rape, Rape Recovery, Sexual Violence, Smut, Teacher-Student Relationship, Top Niall, Underage Louis, graphic description of rape, harry doesn't rape louis, louis is broken, niall is horrible in this, there is no cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-01-04 23:04:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12178230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikita834/pseuds/nikita834
Summary: Louis found the joys of sex when he was 15. After his first break up he finds his way among university students who are more than willing to fuck him. One night changes everything.Afterwards Louis just wants to forget but two years later his substitute georaphy teacher brings back all the painful memories.Can Harry help Louis to heal? Can Louis learn how to respect himself again? Will they find their happy ending?





	1. The nightmare begins

**Author's Note:**

> Having sex with a minor is a crime. And having sex with someone against their will, no matter how drunk they are, is always a rape. 
> 
> Please be safe.

Louis had always been the teacher’s pet. He was a good student but he also knew how to wrap them around his little finger. By the age of 14 he had learned how to get away with half assed assignment just by flirting a little. But he also worked hard and got good grades from tests. While the teachers were very fond of him, he was also one of the most popular students in the school. By the age of 15 he was the head of student association which gave him a lot of power among his peers. Still he was friends with everyone, even the quiet kid who never spoke to anyone or the nerd group who choked when he came to talk to them. Everyone loved him.

Earlier that year he had discovered the joys of sex with his first boyfriend. When that relationship had ended, he didn’t want to mix his ascendancy in school with relationships and the mess that came with them. So, he seeked out for university students who could give him what he wanted. On the weekends and sometimes weeknights, he went out to student parties with Zayn, who was his best friend, to get laid. They were a striking couple, Zayn looking like a Greek god with dark hair and mysterious pout and Louis with his high cheekbones and athlete body, they never had to wait for long to be approached. Zayn was the only one who knew about Louis’ hobby, as he called it. They had been doing it for some time already and both were enjoying it. Zayn usually got the girls while Louis enjoyed being the centre of attention of the boys. And the uni students rarely asked about their age. They knew what Louis and Zayn were after, and they knew the boys were underage. But the pleasure they got from the younger boys outweighed the risks of being caught.

One night, Louis met a student called Harry. Harry was one of the rare students who didn’t want to fuck Louis as soon as showed him interest. Louis learned that Harry was studying to become a geography teacher and was staying in Manchester for six months as an exchange student. Louis knew he wanted to get into Harry’s bed before he would leave back to his university in Dublin. Louis had to work hard to even get Harry’s attention, but Harry was not pleased to see Louis in the parties, little drunk, flirting with everyone and getting fucked by a different guy every night. Finally, one night he grabbed Louis by his arm and took him outside. 

“What the hell are you doing here? Aren’t you like 13 or something? You should be home, with your family or with someone closer to your age,” Harry raged at him.

Louis smiled, he had finally gotten all of Harry’s attention, just like he wanted. “Excuse me, I’m 15, I’ll be 16 soon. And no one else seems to have any kind of problem with me being here. My family surely doesn’t care.” Louis said while staring Harry straight in his eyes.

Harry’s face softened a little. “I’m sorry your family doesn’t care, Louis. But that doesn’t mean you should be here getting drunk with uni students, getting used by them.” He spat the last part out of his mouth like it was venom. 

“I think I‘m allowed to enjoy sex just like you are. And if I want to get as many experiences as I can, I’m allowed to do that too. You cannot stop me.”

“But I can. You are underage, Louis. You shouldn’t be having sex with 20-year-olds.”

Louis looked at him with rage. Who was Harry to come moralize to him like this. He could do whatever he pleased. Louis’ family had always been distant because his parents enjoyed being at work more than taking care of their son. So, Louis had learned how to take care of himself and he was doing pretty good, thank you very much.

“You don’t know me. You don’t get to say how I should live my life. You know nothing about me!” Louis screamed and rushed back even if Harry tried to call after him. Screw Harry and his high and mighty thoughts of how life should be.

He went in, seeked out for Zayn but couldn’t find him. He walked to the kitchen and started to drink like there was no tomorrow. At some point few guys joined him and they kept the shots coming. Louis felt more and more loose with every shot and before he noticed he was hanging from the neck of the guy who had flirted with him earlier, Kyle, Louis remembered. Kyle and few of his friends took Louis upstairs while he kept giggling.

Louis felt light and happy. Everything was amazing. When Kyle put him on his bed and started to undress him, he just went with it. This was what he came here for. To get fucked. Kyle opened him up with fast movements. It hurt a little but Louis was so drunk he didn’t care much. At some point of Kyle working on him, he passed out. 

When Louis woke up he noticed he was placed on the ground face down, on his knees arse up in the air. His hands were taped behind his back, and his feet were taped together too. There even was a tape on his mouth so he couldn’t scream.

Someone was holding on to his hips tight and pounding into him hard. Louis’ eyes shot open in horror. He tried to get up and scream but the tape was preventing him. His scream was muffled and the hands behind his back made it impossible to get up from his position. When he tried, the person fucking him just pushed him back on the ground, “Arse up, whore. You asked for this, now you will get it.”

Louis tried to look around. There were at least three pairs of feet and they all seemed to be naked and stroking their cocks while watching Louis get fucked in the middle. Louis whimpered while tears started to roll from his eyes. He never asked for this.

The guys were taking turns. When one finished, the other came to replace him. By the third guy, Louis was so full of sperm he felt disgusting. He felt it dripping down his thighs as his hole was being abused. “Kyle, you did good. Such a pretty hole to fuck. Wish we could use him even more,” someone said.

“Well, Brian. That’s not out of the question,” Kyle laughed. He bent down to look at Louis, lifted his head by his hair and looked at his face being covered by tears and snot. “Such a pretty mouth under the tape here. Maybe we could test it out a little.”

Louis had fucked Kyle once before. He had been gentle and fun. Louis looked at him in horror. He could have never believed that Kyle would turn out to be this kind of monster. 

Kyle ripped the tape off of Louis’ mouth. “Don’t you dare scream or I will punch you,” Kyle warned him. Louis just whimpered in response. He was powerless. “That’s a good boy,” Kyle patted him on the cheek. “Now suck,” Kyle said and pushed his cock into Louis’ mouth. Louis gagged hard around it but Kyle didn’t let go. He just pushed his length deeper into Louis’ throat. “I know you can take it, slut. I’ve seen you before.”

Louis tried to breathe through his nose and relax his throat. He just had to survive and not pass out again. Kyle finally pulled back a little and Louis took a huge breath and readied himself for the second assault. When Kyle started to fuck his mouth, Brian started to pound his ass again. Louis felt like he was going to faint. The pain in his ass with the lack of oxygen caused by Kyle rough thrusts were getting too much. 

“Wait!” Someone then yelled. For a second Louis thought he was there to stop this nightmare. But Louis wasn’t that lucky. “I want to fuck him too,” that someone continued. “Toni, you can wait for you own turn,” Brian answered annoyed. “Actually, I don’t want to,” Toni answered. Brian halted his movements while Louis heard someone move behind him. “Kyle, you might want to pull out and cover his mouth,” Toni said.

Louis felt confused but relieved to get Kyle’s cock out of his mouth. Kyle put the tape back on his mouth. When Louis felt another cock penetrating him. He screamed as loud as he could. The pain was horrible. He wasn’t prepped enough for this. Kyle slapped his cheek hard. “Stop it, cunt. You asked for it.” Louis stopped screaming but couldn’t stop the tears. When Toni bottomed out, both guys groaned loud. “Fucking fuck. Best arse ever.” They started to fuck Louis in unison, ripping him apart.

When Louis seemed to be a little calmer, Kyle took the tape off and pushed his cock back in Louis’ mouth. Louis was feeling so overwhelmed. Having two cocks fucking his hole and Kyle’s cock buried in his throat he thought he was going to die. The desperation Louis felt when the fourth guy got up from the bed and walked to Kyle, was just too much. He just wanted this to stop. “The slut seems to pass out soon. I want my cut too,” said the fourth guy and pushed his cock in Louis’ mouth next to Kyle’s. “Oh god, Leon, that feels so good,” Kyle breathed out. 

Brian and Toni were pounding Louis’ ass while Kyle and Leon filled his mouth. Slowly but surely the pain got too much for him. The lack of air and feeling so out of control made Louis finally blackout even if he tried to fight it with all his power. When he fell to the sweet darkness, all the pain was gone and he felt like he was floating.

“Fuck, he passed out,” Kyle said. “He was so drunk, no wonder that happened,” Leon answered.

“Let’s just finish and leave him here. I don’t really care to be here when he wakes up. If he wakes up,” Brian noted.

The four guys started to chase their release. Now that Louis was unconscious it was easier to pound into him, they met no resistance whatsoever. Brian and Toni came first filling Louis’ ass once more. Leon following them soon after shooting down Louis’ throat. Kyle came last painting Louis’ face with his come. When Kyle let go of Louis, he fell down hard, his body limp. He looked dead.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here,” Kyle said. The guys gathered their clothes and fled the scene. They left Louis laying there on the ground, unconscious, naked and hurt.

\---

Louis woke up feeling arms around him. 

Instantly he thought he was still being assaulted. “No no no no no. Please don’t, please. I cannot take it anymore, please don’t,” he cried out.

“Shh, shh. You’re safe. I won’t do anything to you. You are safe,” calming voice said while holding Louis tight.

Louis knew that voice. It was Harry. He started to cry harder. “It’s okay, everything will be okay,” Harry kept repeating while trying to get Louis to calm down.

When Louis finally stopped crying, Harry carefully said to him, “I think we need to go to the police. You were raped. You need to report them.”

“NO!” Louis yelled. “I don’t want to tell anyone. I won’t. Promise me you won’t tell,” Louis begged Harry. “But, Louis, they might do it again. You need to tell someone. They need to get punished,” Harry couldn’t understand why Louis didn’t want to tell.

Louis’ father was a head of a big corporation. Louis shuddered while thinking of the publicity the story would get if he reported it. “The gay son of Mark Tomlinson was allegedly raped. The stock value drops.” That was how Louis was raised. The business came first, everything else after that. And coming out as gay was the worst thing Louis could do to his dad. Who even would believe him?

“No, I won’t report them. I will go home and just forget this all happened,” Louis said with a stern voice and started to get up. His ass was killing him and he just wanted to take a shower to wash the marks off of him. Harry looked at him, “Can I at least get your number so I can check on you?” 

“Thank you for caring, but it will be easier if we don’t talk to each other again.” Louis put his clothes back on, checked his phone and walked out. On the door, he turned back to look at Harry who was still sitting on the floor. “Thank you,” Louis whispered and walked out. He just wanted to forget.


	2. Does it ever stop?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years later Louis makes few bad decisions and the history is about to repeat itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you or your friend is raped, Go to the police! Don't shower before. Don't do what Louis does, that way the rapists never get caught. 
> 
> And I'm sorry.

Louis had stopped to go to university parties after the incident as he these days called it. It took him almost a year to tell Zayn what had happened. Zayn was horrified. He swore he would kill the four guys if he ever saw them again. The recovery had been long and hard but finally Louis was starting to feel better again.

The rape had left some marks on him. He didn’t value himself at all. If someone approached him at school his first reaction was to turn them down. But sometimes if he noticed he could gain something out of sleeping with the guy or the girl, he usually let them have their way with him. The sex meant nothing and he felt his body was not his anymore. Why try to protect it when people could take what they wanted whenever they wanted. 

Two years after his rape, on one semester Louis noticed he was failing geography. He didn’t know exactly how it had happened since he never had failed anything but it was happening now. As a last resort he decided to seduce the teacher and let them fuck him in exchange of good grades because he couldn’t find the time to study more than he already did. The man was old and smelled weird but Louis had seen how he looked at him. And how he got flustered every time Louis flirted with him, Louis knew he had a good chance to get his plan to work. Mr Gillard had asked Louis to see him after his last class on Tuesday so they could talk about what Louis should do to pass the geography class. Louis decided to put his plan into action then.

On Tuesday, Louis went to see Mr Gillard. He had prepped himself in the bathroom beforehand, he wanted to be ready for whatever was to come. He knocked on the door and waited to be called inside. When he heard the silent, “Come in,” he opened the door. Mr Gillard was sitting behind his desk when Louis walked in.

“Hello, Louis. How’s your day been?” Gillard asked and motioned him to sit on the sofa he had in his office. Louis smiled a little and sat down, “Kinda stressful if I’m being honest. The school is stressing me out at the moment and I cannot seem to find time to study as much as I want to.”

Gillard walked to him with a concerned face. “Is there any reason for you to feel this stressed out?”

Louis knew this was his moment and he used it. “Well, my boyfriend broke up with me some time ago,” he lied and looked straight in Gillard’s eyes to see his reaction. Just as he expected he could see flash of lust in there when Louis confirmed he was gay. Louis decided to push further, “and I’m so horny these days. I miss a good fuck,” he said while looking at Gillard under his lashes blushing a little. If Louis knew how to do something, it was to fluster the person he was flirting to. 

Gillard shifted a little and he was full on blushing now. “Umm.. Have you tried exercising?” Gillard tried desperately come up with something while his cock was visibly getting harder. 

Louis enjoyed seeing Gillard so helpless. “I have tried everything. Nothing seems to be working,” he said while sliding his hand on Gillard’s knee. “You seem like a man who could maybe help me out,” Louis continued and gave Gillard his best puppy dog eyes.

The older man didn’t know what to do. He was frozen in place when Louis’ hand kept wandering upwards. When Louis’ hand was on his cock, he squeezed, Gillard gasping a little. Louis moved closer to his teacher and whispered in his ear, “Could you please fuck me.” And kissed his neck.

Louis felt disgusting but he had to do it. He couldn’t fail his class. He kept massaging Gillard’s cock over his trousers and kissing his neck. Gillard started to let out breathy moans but then he pushed Louis away from him. “I cannot do this, not again,” he kept mumbling and walked behind his desk, cock straining his trousers.

‘Again? What have I missed?’ Louis wondered but walked towards his teacher. “Please, I’m begging you. I can make you feel so good,” he whispered and dropped on his knees in front of Gillard. He opened his zipper, took his cock out and swallowed it. Louis knew he was good at giving head. He could make a guy come in few minutes if he wanted to. “Oh, god. Your mouth. It’s even better than I dreamed of,” Gillard moaned. Louis smiled to himself. He knew he had been right all along.

While Louis was popping his head, Gillard started to push himself deeper in Louis’ mouth. That was something Louis didn’t appreciate at all these days. He pulled off and got up. “If you wish to be the one in control you could just fuck me,” he said and dropped his jeans and leaned on the table presenting himself and his gaping hole, “I prepped myself for you,” he continued and wiggled his ass a little. 

Gillard stood there not knowing what to do. After few minutes Louis got restless and turned around. He got a condom and a travel packet of lube from his jeans, put it on Gillard, lubed him and himself. Then he turned around again. “Just push it in. I can take it,” Louis urged. That was all Gillard needed, he attacked Louis and pushed himself inside. It hurt like a bitch but Louis just grinded his teeth together and took it. 

Gillard didn’t give him any time to adjust but began pounding in him, hard and fast. Louis knew he had to fake feeling good so he started to moan, “Mr Gillard, ah! You feel so good. So fucking amazing, harder, harder.” It was the fakest he had ever been but Gillard didn’t seem to notice. He just pounded Louis’ arse with all he got.

After few minutes Gillard was coming. He stopped his movements and shuddered against Louis. “Oh god, best I’ve ever had,” Louis heard him say. Louis was nowhere near aroused or hard. This was just another necessary fuck but he had to please the man. “You were so good, thank you,” he said while Gillard pulled out and Louis put his jeans back on. 

“Did you come?” Gillard asked. It surprised Louis, he thought Gillard wouldn’t care. “Oh, I came while you were fucking me. You felt so good,” Louis said with a sultry voice. He was a very good liar. 

Gillard blushed. “Thank you, you were amazing.”

Louis put his hands around Gillard’s neck. “Maybe we could come up with some kind of arrangement?”

Gillard put his hands on Louis’ arse, squeezing him and trying to kiss. “What did you have in mind?”

“Maybe you could get this whenever you wanted,” Louis said and pushed his arse towards Gillard’s hands, “And I could pass my geography class with good grades.” And then Louis kissed him hard. He usually never kissed anyone but Gillard seemed to like it so what the hell, this was exception. 

“That is extremely illegal, and if we get caught I can lose my job and you will get a permanent mark on your record,” Gillard said. Louis looked at him in the eyes again, he hated Gillard’s grey eyes, “I don’t care. I’m not going to tell anyone if you aren’t. This is our little secret,” Louis said.

“Then I guess we have a deal.”

That was it. Louis felt so relieved. He would pass his class. They agreed that in this semester every Tuesday Louis would come after class and Gillard could do whatever he wanted with Louis. 

When Louis got home that night, he scrubbed himself clean under boiling hot water until his skin was red and burning. He felt so dirty. 

The next Tuesday Louis found himself on Gillard’s lap being spanked. “Dirty boy. Whore. Slut. Fucking amazing arse. Perfect hole,” Gillard kept repeating. Louis hated being spanked but he took it. He kept moaning because it seemed to excite the teacher. After ten spanks Gillard pushed something in Louis. He screamed in pain, “What the hell?!” Luckily, he had prepped himself again and put lube on himself so Gillard couldn’t hurt him too much.

“You need to be fucked. I’m gonna give it to you,” Gillard said and kept pushing the object in Louis. Soon he found Louis prostate and Louis couldn’t stop the pleasure building up in him. “Oh, god, yes, there yes!”

Gillard kept rubbing his prostate harder until Louis felt like he would lose his mind if he couldn’t come. “I need to come, please,” he begged. Gillard kept fucking him with the object until Louis was coming hard. Then he pushed Louis up, bent him over the sofa and pushed in. Louis was so out of it that he didn’t even realise Gillard was fucking him bare. Not until Gillard was shooting deep inside Louis after pounding into him hard again.

When he pulled out Louis immediately turned around and slapped him. “Don’t you ever fuck me bare again, or you will never see this arse in your office.”

“I’m sorry, I got caught in the moment. It will not happen again.” Gillard apologised. 

“Okay then,” Louis said. “What did you fuck me with?” He had to ask.

Gillard pulled out a candle. “I like to fuck people with different kind of objects.” Louis just stared at him. What the hell had he agreed to. “Okay, as long as they are clean,” he just answered.

\---

Their agreement had been going on for two months now. Gillard really liked to spank Louis and more often than not Louis left their meeting with a sore butt. Gillard also liked to fuck Louis with dildos and other objects. Usually Louis had to remind him to not hurt him after one incident when Gillard had pushed a bottle too hard into Louis’ arse and Louis had started bleeding. Gillard was a sick fuck who enjoyed seeing Louis in pain. The sessions were torture to Louis but he had no way of stopping them. He just wished the Christmas break would come soon and the geography course would be over. 

On one Tuesday Louis was walking to Gillard’s office once again. He felt sick already thinking what horrible things were coming to him this time. When he knocked on the door, a strange voice answered, “Come in.”

Louis hesitated a moment but opened the door. He looked in and there was a man, sitting behind Gillard’s table. Louis stood there, mouth gaping. That was the most gorgeous man he had ever seen. Long brown hair with oddly familiar kind green eyes. “Can I help you?” the man asked.

“I was just looking for Mr Gillard. Is he here?”

The man looked like he didn’t know what to say. “Umm.. Mr Gillard doesn’t work here anymore.”

Louis felt the colour escaping from his face. “What? Why??” No no no, this couldn’t be happening. He hadn’t let that sick fuck do all those things to him for nothing. His breath was coming out in shallow breaths and his ears were ringing.

Suddenly there were arms around him, “Louis, calm down. Breathe with me. That’s it, in and out. In and out.” Slowly Louis’ breathing turned back to normal. The man was still holding him. Louis felt safer in his arms that he had felt in years. 

“Wait, how do you know my name?”

The man looked embarrassed. “We have met before.”

And then it was all coming back. The night he had been raped. Harry comforting him afterwards, making him feel safe. That’s why he was feeling so safe right now. This was Harry. His Harry.

Louis pushed himself away from Harry as fast as he could. “What are you doing here?”

Harry looked little hurt, “I work here now. Gillard was fired so I’m the new geography teacher.”

Could his day turn any worse, Louis thought. “Why was Gillard fired?”

“I’m not sure I’m allowed to say, but they found child porn on his computer and turned out he had been fucking underage boys. He’s going to jail for a long time.” 

Louis felt the panic rising again. He could just wish Gillard wouldn’t tell anyone of their agreement. 

“Are you sure you are okay? You look little pale.”

“I’m fine. I need to go. See you around,” Louis said and then he ran. He needed to get away. 

He couldn’t believe his luck. He had been dreaming of meeting Harry again. But in his dreams, he had already graduated and found a job. In his most wildest dreams, Harry would see him and instantly tell how much he regretted he hadn’t fucked Louis back when he had a chance and they would instantly hit it off and after fucking they would fall in love, get married and have six kids. Yeah, that was Louis’ dream. 

But reality had never been Louis’ friend. Real life was a bitch who wanted to hurt him. Seeing Harry like this meant that Louis would never have a chance with him. Harry was the only person Louis felt like maybe he could trust. He had felt so safe near Harry, he wanted to feel like that forever. But he knew now he couldn’t have Harry. Not when he was still so broken. And not ever since Harry was here now, he would see Louis and realise how much of a mess he was. Louis felt so sad, losing something he never even had was hard. 

When Louis was walking home, usually he got the bus but today he felt like he needed air, someone honked the car horn near him. Louis looked around and saw his old neighbour rolling down his window. “Tomlinson boy, do you need a lift?” they asked. Mr Keenan had always been nice to Louis. He and his wife had invited Louis over for dinner many times when his parents were in meetings all evening. He had been so sad when Keenan’s had moved across the city. Louis looked around and then nodded, why not.

“Sure, thanks. I was going to walk but this is good too.”

Keenan smiled at him. “I’m just gonna pick up Mike on the way and we can drop you off then,” Keenan explained. “Sure, I’m in no hurry. Mum and dad are in some charity concert this evening. I don’t think they are coming home tonight,” Louis said.

He had seen Mike several times at Keenan’s. The man had made him feel little uncomfortable, always checking him out more than an adult should. But since Mr Keenan was there Louis thought it would be okay. 

Keenan drove for a while and turned to highway. Louis just watched the scenery and didn’t even realise how far off they were from his home until they took the exit and he noticed where they were. “Umm.. this is awfully far away. Are you sure it wouldn’t be easier to just drop me off here. I can take the bus.” Louis felt little scared. Keenan kept smiling, “Don’t worry kid. I’m gonna get you home at some point.”

Now Louis was really scared. He got a strange vibe out of Mr Keenan. Unlike anything he ever had before. When they arrived at Mike’s house, Louis was full on panicking. They were in the middle of nowhere, away from everyone.

“Come in for a second. Mike has something to show me and then we can get you home,” Keenan said.

Louis hesitated but got out of the car. He walked behind Mr Keenan. When Mike opened the door, Mr Keenan instantly kissed him on the mouth. Mike hungrily grabbed his bum and groaned, “Well, hello to you too, Matt.”

Louis stood there very confused. What the hell. Mr Keenan, Matt, was married. Happily married as far as Louis knew. He felt so lost.

Matt looked behind him, “Look what I got for us.” Mike looked at Louis for the first time. “How did you get him. Oh my god. Honey!” Mike yelled and kissed Matt again. Matt just smiled and then grabbed Louis by his hand and pulled him in and closed the door behind him.

Matt pushed Louis to the guest bedroom while Louis was having hard time getting his legs to move. No, not again, was the only thing running through his head. When he looked around in the room, he noticed weirdly familiar looking pics on the walls. He thought he was going to faint when he realised it was him on the pics. There were pictures of him in the school toilet, giving head to some guy, being fucked in the broom closet at school, him being fucked with a bottle, a candle, a can, and by Mr Gillard. Louis realised Mr Gillard had taken pictures of him. He broke down crying.

Matt yanked him up. “Stop it slut. Gillard promised us to have a go with you as long as we didn’t rat him out. I guess someone else did but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t get our cut.”

“Are these online?” Louis asked scared. His life would be ruined if they were.

“No, these are my private collection. These are the only copies. I made Gillard destroy the originals. I want to have you all to myself. I have wanted you for years, boy,” Mike answered. Gillard had sold the pics to Mike in exchange of his silence. Louis felt horrified.

“I know you prepped yourself for Gillard so you must be prepped now too,” Matt said and pulled Louis’ trousers and boxers down. Mike let out a long sigh at the sight. He pulled his cock out, already hard and leaking. “Jesus, fucking Christ. He’s even better than I imagined.”

Matt smiled at him, “Happy birthday love.” Louis was his birthday present for his boyfriend. He felt sick.

Matt pushed Louis on the ground on his knees and guided Mike’s cock in his mouth. Louis spluttered and gagged hard. “Take it, slut,” Mike said and started to pump his cock into Louis’ mouth. Louis could feel tears running down his cheeks. He tried to push Mike away but Matt got a hold of his hands and taped them behind his back. The flashbacks of that horrible night were coming back to Louis on full force now. He kept crying and choking while Mike fucked his throat relentlessly. “So fucking good, so beautiful, fucking perfect mouth,” he kept repeating while Matt got undressed and started to stroke his cock while watching them.

When Mike had enough, he pulled out and Matt pushed in instead. They kept kissing while Matt fucked Louis’ mouth. Louis thought he would faint soon, not getting enough air. Finally, Matt was done with his mouth too and pulled out. 

“What would you like to do with him next, love?” Matt asked. Mike looked at him and then Louis. Louis could see the ideas rolling around in his mind. “I want to fuck him while he rims you.”

Louis hated rimming, but he knew he had no way out. The men placed Louis on the bed on his hands and knees. Matt placed himself in front of him and pushed his arse in Louis’ face. Louis had no choice but to start licking. Mike got behind him and spread some lube on Louis and then pushed all the way in. Louis screamed in pain. “Fucking take it, whore,” Mike groaned angrily and started to pound into Louis with all he got. Matt grabbed his head by the hair and pulled his face back in his arse. Louis was in so much pain but he tried to do his best. He figured it would be over sooner if he just did what he was told.

“Oh god, I’m coming, I’m coming,” Matt yelled soon and spurted on the bed. He kept Louis’ head between his cheeks and didn’t let go. Louis just kept fucking his hole with his tongue as long as Matt held his head by his hair tightly.

Mike paused and pulled out. “Fucking beautiful,” he said. “I need to fuck you love.” Matt turned around and finally let go of Louis’ hair. “I have an idea,” he said.

He walked to Mike and kissed him, “How would you like to fuck me and the slut’s mouth at the same time?” Mike took a sharp intake of breath, face glowing with a bright grin. “Brilliant.”

What Louis hated even more than rimming was arse-to-mouth. Especially since he knew the men hadn’t showered before this. Mike yanked Louis off the bed by his neck and pushed him down on his knees, then Matt placed himself next to him. Mike lubed himself and then stretched Matt a little, him being already open from Louis’ mouth. Then he pushed slowly in Matt’s heat, being so careful not to hurt him. Louis was forced to watch this all happening right there next to his face. Mike pumped Matt’s ass few times, pulled out and pushed himself in Louis’ mouth. “Fucking perfect. You always have the best ideas,” Mike kept praising Matt while he repeated the motion multiple times. Louis thought he was going to puke but eventually managed to hold it in. Mike fucked Matt’s ass and then Louis’ mouth while Louis just took it. Finally Mike started to pound Matt’s arse with everything he got, chasing his release. Both men were moaning loudly at this point. “Suck his cock,” Mike ordered Louis.

Louis opened his mouth and Matt pushed in. He held Louis’ head in one place with his hands while Mike pounded into him causing him to pound into Louis’ throat. Louis gagged hard again but Matt didn’t care. When Matt finally came, shooting in Louis’ mouth, Mike pulled out and stroked his cock until he was coming all over Louis’ face. 

When the men were done, they crashed on the bed, sighing happily. They snuggled closer to each other, kissing and laughing. Louis just sat down on his calves and tried to look anywhere else than the happy couple. 

Suddenly the men fell silent. “You didn’t come,” Mike said and Louis realised he was talking to him. “I’m good, thank you,” he tried to be polite. He really didn’t think he could get hard now after feeling so used and horrible.

“Oh, I want to make you come. You look so pretty when you come,” Mike said and smirked. He pulled Louis up on the bed and turned him on his belly. “Beautiful arse,” Matt said while both of their hands wandered all over Louis’ body. Louis felt like he was going to cry again. He just wanted to go home. Or to Harry, he realised. Harry was his safe place even if he didn’t even really know him.

And then there was a finger pushing inside him, interrupting his thoughts about Harry. “Still nicely open and wet,” Matt said. Mike came back on the bed, Louis hadn’t even noticed he had left. Louis felt something being pushed inside him. “Please, don’t,” he cried out. “I have seen what you can take in,” Mike said. “I want to try something.”

“Awesome idea, I have always wanted to see what his arse can take,” Matt said. “Please, no,” Louis tried begging, but it was useless. Mike was already fucking him with something that felt cold, a little like the coke bottle Gillard had fucked him with but bigger. 

“Look at him taking it, such a nice ass. Always eagerly taking whatever it is given,” Mike said with a smug voice. “I never knew you could fit a wine bottle in someone’s arse.”

He kept fucking Louis, sometimes pulling the bottle all the way out and then pushing it back in with force. Louis silently kept crying while trying not to scream in pain. When Mike felt like he had enough of the bottle he placed it on the table. Next Louis felt Matt’s fist entering him. He yelled in pain. “You can take it, fucking stupid porn star, don’t try to fake you don’t enjoy it,” Matt said with a harsh voice. Mike was stroking his cock, having grown hard while abusing Louis. “I think I want to fuck his mouth again,” he said. Matt just agreed while Mike opened Louis’ mouth with force and started to fuck his throat. 

Matt pulled his hand out and pushed a vibrating dildo in Louis instead. He located his prostate and relentlessly started to massage it. “I’m gonna make you come boy,” he said.

Louis could feel his cock hardening against his will. Why was his body betraying him like this? 

Mike kept fucking his mouth while Matt pushed the dildo harder and deeper in Louis. When Mike finally came again, Matt yanked Louis’ arse up from the bed and stroked his cock until Louis came with a cry. Mike watched the scene unfold in front of him. Then he scooted over to Matt and sucked his hard cock until Matt too was coming. Louis just laid there, feeling numb. He just wanted to leave.

“Should we take a shower and then go for round two?” Mike asked. Matt agreed and the men got up from the bed. “Don’t bother getting up, we are not done with you yet,” Mike said to Louis. As they left the room, they locked the door and Louis could hear them snacking on something and then moving to the shower. 

He got up in the speed of light. He had learnt how to get out of hand strains after his first time being raped. He managed to free himself from the tape and put on his clothes fast. Then he listened the voices. Seemed like the couple was fucking in the shower so he figured he had some time. He ripped his photos off the wall and pushed them in his back pack. He hoped they really were the only copies. Then he tried to door, of course it didn’t open, Mike had locked it. He tried the window and by some miracle it opened. He climbed out and started to run. He knew he was too far away from home to run there but he needed to get away. 

Louis had been running for a long time until he finally stopped. He was running near the road but hiding between the bushes. He hadn’t seen anyone for a long time not even Matt’s car. He just hoped they wouldn’t catch him. It was getting dark already and Louis had no idea how to get home or where he was. He was getting desperate. 

He put hands in his pockets of his hoodie and felt some kind of card in there. He pulled it out and saw it was a business card. In bright green letters it said Harry Styles and a phone number under it. Call me anytime Louis, was written under it. Harry must have slipped in his pocket while he hugged him. Louis felt like he could cry again. With shaky hands he pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialled Harry’s number. It took a while but finally Harry answered, “Hello.”

“Harry,” Louis got out and broke down sobbing, hearing Harry’s friendly voice. “Louis, where are you? Do you need me to get you?” Harry was full on panicking. 

“I don’t know where I am. I need to get out of here,” Louis sobbed on the phone.

“Okay, I’m coming. Could you put Google maps on and put the location tracker on. Then send me the screen shot of it. I’m coming, love,” Harry instructed.

Louis did as he was told and sent the location to Harry. Harry looked at it and said, “I’ll be there in 10 minutes. Don’t move.” Louis just mumbled something incoherent on the phone and hung up. He broke down in full tears while sitting on the ground. Harry was coming to save him. 

The next ten minutes were the longest in Louis’ life. He was so scared Matt and Mike would find him. When he finally heard a car approaching he hid behind a tree. When the car stopped, someone got out and started to call for him. It was Harry. 

Louis ran from his hiding place straight to Harry’s arms. Harry hugged him tight, calming him down again. Then he pulled off a bit and asked, “What happened to you?” He looked so worried, looking at Louis’ dirty clothes and come covered face. Louis just cried harder.

“Let’s go home,” Harry finally said while guiding Louis into his car. On the way to Louis’, he realised he couldn’t go home like this. He didn’t want to see his parents. “Could I maybe crash at yours?” Louis asked with a tiny voice. Harry looked at him surprised but nodded. 

When they got to Harry’s flat, Louis was so grateful Harry wasn’t asking any questions. They got inside and took of their coats and shoes. “Would you like to take a shower?” Harry asked. Louis nodded.

Harry showed him the bathroom and brought him change of clothes and a towel. “Thank you,” Louis said. “No problem. Just come the living room when you are done,” Harry answered.

When Louis was done with his boiling hot shower, he put on Harry’s soft sweats and a t-shirt. They smelled like Harry and Louis felt safe. He still felt the pain in his bum and suddenly he was so sad and tired. But he knew he was safe now.

When Louis entered the living room he stopped on his tracks. Harry was sitting there on the ground, and around him were all the pictures Louis had taken from Mike’s walls. Harry looked up, “Louis, what is this?”

Louis fell on his knees on the floor and started to cry again. Harry was there in an instant, enveloping Louis with his body. “They raped me,” Louis finally got out.

“Oh my god,” Harry said horrified. “Do you want me to call the police?”

“Please, no police! I just want to forget,” Louis cried. “Okay,” Harry agreed while Louis could sense him hesitating. “But this time, you will stay here and you will let me check up on you. Do we have a deal?” Harry said. Louis nodded, happy Harry didn’t try to force him to the police. He knew he would have to explain everything to Harry at some point. But not now, not today.

They sat on the floor for a long time. When Louis’ sobs had died down, Harry guided him into the bedroom. Louis laid down and Harry tucked him in. When Harry tried to leave, Louis too his hand and said, “Please, don’t leave me tonight.”

Harry looked at him and nodded. He climbed on the bed and Louis snuggled close to him. In a few minutes he had fallen asleep. Harry laid awake for a long time, holding Louis tight. He just wanted to protect him from ever getting hurt again. Harry felt his heart breaking thinking what Louis had been through while still being so young. Could he ever be whole again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Louis is hurting really bad now. But I promise things will get better after this. Harry is there now, protecting Louis.


	3. New beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after. 
> 
> We get a little look inside Harry's mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the ending of this chapter due to feedback I got. Hope people like it more now.

Harry woke up feeling warm. He was tangled in the duvet and Louis was laying on top of him. His arms were around Louis, protecting him. The boy kept making pitiful noises, like he was having a nightmare. “Louis, baby. Do you want to wake up?” Harry whispered.

Louis whined a little in response and snuggled closer to Harry. He took it as a no and just continued to lay there. He didn’t have classes until midday and Louis was in no condition of going to school so he figured they had some time.

Harry’s thoughts thrifted to the last night. The pain he had seen in Louis’ face, the sorrow. That boy was so broken while being way too young for all of this. And yet, Harry had never been more in love with him. He blamed himself of the rape that had happened two years ago. If only he would have given Louis what he was asking for. But he had rejected Louis, even if he had lusted him so much. If only things would have gone differently but on the other hand everything happened for a reason. He hated that other men had touched Louis before him, but now was his chance. He could help Louis, he could be there for him. This time Harry promised he would never let Louis go, ever again.

Harry felt Louis starting to move a little, waking up slowly. “Good morning, love,” Harry whispered. He didn’t want to scare Louis away. “Morning,” Louis croaked as an answer. Then he raised his head fast. “The fuck I’m doing here?” Louis asked scared, looking around with wide eyes.

“Umm.. you called me last night.” Harry explained. He saw the moment it came crashing back to Louis. His face twisted in pain, eyes filling with tears. “I’m so sorry I called you,” Louis said suddenly. “I think I need to go home. It’s school day,” Louis said while trying to get up from the bed.

“Louis,” Harry stopped him with gripping his wrist. But the fear flashing in the younger boy’s eyes made him loosen his grip. “Louis,” Harry added softer, “I’m glad you called. I said you could and I meant it. And there is no way you are going to school today. You were through way too much yesterday. You can stay here and sleep or watch tv. But you are not going to school.”

“You are in no position to tell me what I can and cannot do!” Louis screamed. Harry shook his head, “You are right about that.” he said calmly, “But I saw you yesterday, and it would make me feel better if you took a one day off and stayed here. I want to take care of you. I just want what’s best for you.”

Louis looked at him with suspicion in his eyes. No one was ever that nice to him. “Okay, I’ll stay here today. But tomorrow I’m going back to school,” he finally gave in. Harry knew he had hit a goldmine. This was his way to Louis’ head and heart. Being nice and letting him believe he made his own decisions. “Yes, love. Thank you. Now, can I make you breakfast?” Harry asked. Louis nodded and Harry got up.

He made them quick fry-up and some tea. Louis ate like hadn’t been eating for the last week. Maybe he hadn’t. Harry noticed that Louis had lost a lot of weight during last couple of years. That wouldn’t do. He needed Louis to be well. 

After breakfast, Louis started to look for his clothes. “I threw them away. I didn’t think you wanted them anymore,” Harry told him when he asked to get his stuff back. “Oh, you might be right,” Louis mumbled and then looked at himself. “Can I just borrow these until I get home then?” Harry nodded, “Sure, I wouldn’t let you walk outside naked. Just keep them as long as you like.”

When it was Harry’s time to go to work, he pleaded Louis to be there when he came back. “I just want to see you are okay, then I will drop you home and we will see each other at school. Is that okay?” Harry asked. “Yeah, whatever. I will watch some Netflix or something,” Louis said and Harry was off.

When he came back that evening, Louis was sleeping on the sofa. He looked so small and so young. Harry wanted to fuck him, then and there. But he couldn’t. Louis should want it himself and that could take a long time. Instead Harry took some pictures of Louis, just something he could reminisce later that evening. But he also took a picture of Louis’ bruises. One day, Louis would want to go to the police and Harry would have everything he needed to make a case. 

Afterwards Harry made them dinner while waiting for Louis to wake up. He didn’t have to wait for long. As soon as the delicious smell of curry drifted to the living room, Louis woke up. “What time is it?” he asked little disoriented. “Almost 6 pm. I made us dinner and I can drive you home afterwards,” Harry answered. “Okay,” he heard Louis say.

They ate in front of the tv, watching a cooking show Harry loved. Louis kept moaning while he ate, praising Harry’s cooking skills. It took everything in Harry to not take Louis there and then. But he needed to wait, he needed to have Louis wanting him. Afterwards, Harry drove Louis home just like he had promised.

“Thank you,” Louis said before he got out of the car, “for everything.”

“No problem. And you know you can call anytime. Or come crash at my place. It gets little lonely here, since I don’t have any friends yet,” Harry said and Louis just nodded. Louis had promised Harry he would at least text him every day. Harry needed to know how he was and Louis seemed little surprised by Harry’s request but agreed. 

When Harry got home, there was the first message waiting for him. “No one’s home. I should have stayed at yours like you suggested. See you at class. xx”

Harry was over the moon. His mission started to look a lot easier with Louis missing his company already. He knew he would just have to play it cool for now. He had been waiting Louis for two years, he had time.

That evening Harry masturbated to the pics he had taken of Louis while he was sleeping. He came hard while thinking of Louis laying under him, pliant and willing, he wanted Louis so much and it was killing him to know how broken he was. Harry cleaned the mess and then he printed out the photos from his phone, the ones with the bruises and put them away with the ones Louis had taken from Mike's house. One day he would either give them to Louis or take them to the police. He knew he would have to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the hits and kudos. This fic turned out little different than originally planned. I'm in a dark place in my life and I guess this is how I deal with it. Sorry.


	4. Feeling safe in your arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis take the next step.
> 
> We continue the journey through Louis' eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to remind you that recovering from rape isn't easy, and if it may seem so in this chapter, there is more to come. Their journey isn't over yet.

It had been almost six months since Matt and Mike had raped him. They had caused a lot of pain to him and these days he didn’t dare to go alone anywhere anymore. He had begged a car from his dad, so he could drive himself to places, but his dad wasn’t keen on buying him one yet. He said Louis should earn the privilege of owning a car and failing geography wasn’t helping him. Louis wasn’t sure how his dad knew he was failing, but it seemed that he knew everything about his school success. Maybe it was because his parents made a huge donation to the school every year and that’s why they got to know Louis’ records before he himself got to see them. 

So, Louis was stuck with a bus as a way to go to school. Luckily Zayn already had a car so in the evenings he drove Louis to places he needed to go. Zayn didn’t know about the second rape, or what had happened with Mr Gillard. Zayn didn’t need to know he had basically sold his body for nothing to that old man. But Zayn knew about Harry. He knew about the crush Louis had for him and he knew Louis was talking with Harry, but didn’t know why.

“You sly dog,” Zayn had said when Louis told him who he was constantly texting these days. “Hooking up with a teacher. Way to go!” Louis didn’t have a heart to tell him they weren’t hooking up, they were just hanging out. These days Louis didn’t want anyone to touch him if it wasn’t necessary. Especially in sexual way. He still had hooked up with few guys who he owned a favour but that was it. Getting fucked and giving head had been awful. He had decided to stop letting other people use him and that was all because of Harry.

He had spent quite a few nights with Harry at this point. Sleeping in Harry’s arms made him feel safe when he woke up from a nightmare. Harry was always calming him down, talking softly to him. They had started to have regular movie nights after the first night Louis spent at Harry’s place. Mostly the movie was just an excuse to hang out and talk. They had clicked so well from the start and Louis felt safe with Harry. By that point they hadn’t even kissed even if Louis saw how Harry kept looking at his lips. When one of their movie nights had run a little long and Louis was too tired to go home, he had been so confused why Harry had insisted it was okay for him to stay the night. But Harry had explained he just wanted Louis to be safe and having him near was making Harry to feel at ease. Louis didn’t quite believe that was the case and had still thought Harry wanted to have sex with him. He had tried to initiate it later in the night, just because that’s the way it had always been, people only wanted him around if they were getting something out of it, usually sex. 

But Harry had turned him down. “Louis, baby, I know you have used sex before as a tool to make people accept you, and I know you are used to people only wanting to fuck you. But you need to know that I’m different. I cannot deny not wanting to have sex with you, because I do, so much. But I also know what you have been through and it feels so wrong for me to use the state you are in to fuck you now. The day I fuck you for the first time, is the day you are the one who wants to have it. Not because it’s something you think I want or because you think we should do it. No, it’s because you want me so much that you feel like you burst if I don’t get inside of you and fuck your brains out. Until that day comes, we will not fuck. I’m not gonna take the initiative in this. I’m perfectly happy just sleeping next to you, holding you in my arms. Having you close to me. And I assure you, you don’t have to worry about me or my needs. I’m perfectly happy with my hand until you are ready. No matter how long it takes.”

After Harry’s statement, Louis was left speechless. Never before anyone had told them they wanted to fuck Louis’ brains out but at the same time made him feel so cared for and safe. Louis knew that Harry really wanted him. Up until that point he had thought Harry only wanted to be friends with him but maybe, just maybe Harry wanted more. “Does this mean, you want to keep seeing me?” Louis asked.

“Yes,” Harry laughed, “Yes, Louis, I do want to keep seeing you. I like you very much and I’d like one day to call you my boyfriend if you are comfortable with that.”

Louis couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Harry honestly wanted to have a relationship even if he knew how broken Louis was, and he didn’t want to force him to have sex until he was ready. Louis surged forward and kissed Harry, “Yes, I’d really like that.” Harry laughed into his mouth, “Well, I guess we are dating now then.”

Their relationship was a secret of course. Harry was still Louis’ teacher until the end of spring semester when Louis would graduate and Harry’s job at Louis’ school would end. After that if they still wanted, they could come out as a real couple. Louis didn’t have the heart to tell Harry he couldn’t come out because of his parents but that didn’t matter now. Dating Harry was all he had ever wanted, and it was enough for now. They didn’t go out on real dates, but Harry made picnics for them in his living room and sometimes they went to the movies, always separate but “accidently” ending up sitting next to each other. 

Harry also made Louis study even more than he had before. He did his marking while Louis studied. Harry also helped Louis with geography, so Louis found himself not failing the course anymore. Him spending so much time at Harry’s left his parents wondering where their son was. Usually he said he was with Zayn and Zayn was covering for him. Even Zayn saw how good Harry was for Louis and he was supportive of their relationship. 

It was one of the rare night he was actually home when Louis woke up, shivering in cold sweat and panic creeping up on him. He had spent yet another night having a nightmare after nightmare of Kyle and the other boys, Mr Gillard, Matt and Mike. Lately the dreams were coming more often and he couldn’t shake them off. After his first rape he had had nightmares for over a year. But as the time went by, the dreams came only when he was stressed. But now, it they were back and they had new stars in them. 

“Why doesn’t this stop? Why the fuck do I need to be this fucked up?” Louis blamed himself of everything that had happened. He wished he could have Harry there to comfort him. His mom and dad had insisted that he would stay home more when they were there too and it was killing Louis not to be able to be with Harry. 

Harry was so good to him. Not pressuring him in any way. They kissed, a lot. But every time it turned heated, Louis backed away and Harry let him. He knew how difficult it was for Harry, he saw the bulge in his pants, he heard the frustrated sighs, but at the same time he felt the soft loving hands in his hair and gentle kisses on his forehead. Louis couldn’t wait to see him the next day at school again. He had passed his geography class with high scores just like his other courses too. It was the spring semester now and he would be graduating after his exams. Harry was helping him study and he was so grateful for that.

Louis looked at the clock. It was 5 am. No use of going back to sleep now. He should wake up at 6 anyway. He got up and took a shower. Lately he had been masturbating again. It had started to feel good when it was only him, alone. Harry was always the star of his wet daydreams while he touched himself, he fantasised Harry going down on him, sucking him off with that luscious mouth of his. But still having anything near his ass made him flinch. Even he couldn’t touch himself while jerking off. 

After his shower he dressed up and went down to have breakfast. His parents were already there, ready for the day of meetings and whatnot. “Good morning, mom, dad,” Louis greeted them. He got a nod from them in return. His dad had been pleased with his school records after fall semester but still thought Louis wasn’t good enough for a car. He had said Louis should man up a bit, that he looked too “gay”, whatever that meant. Louis had shaken his head and walked out of the room. He was waiting for the day he would be financially independent, and he could finally come out. But until then, he would play the part of the straight son and get them pay for his education.

“What are your plans for today?” his mom asked all of a sudden. “Mr Styles is having a study group tonight so I will be out late,” Louis answered. They had agreed to Louis use this excuse for him being out late. His parents like Harry a lot. Louis’ mom was always raving about him, especially after one parent-teacher meeting she had with Harry about Louis’ geography class before the exams. Louis thought that his mom just wanted to fuck him because Harry was such a handsome man but that wasn’t gonna happen. His mom hummed approvingly, “We are going out of town today. We will be back next Tuesday. Please stay out of trouble. And no parties!” That meant a week without his parents. He could stay at Harry’s for the whole week. He was so happy. “Okay, mom, no parties. I need to go to school, I’m meeting Zayn in a bit. Hope you have a good trip.”

Louis left the room fast, he couldn’t wait to text Harry that he would be staying with him for the whole week. “Parents going out of town, whole week of PJ parties!!” Louis texted while grapping his backbag and jacket. He got a row of confetti emojis as a response from Harry. He was so excited!

That evening Louis packed his bag while Harry waited for him outside in the car. He took what he needed for the week and locked the front door behind him. “I’m ready, let’s go to your place,” Louis announced when he got into the car. Harry couldn’t help but kiss him, “Let’s go. All week together, I couldn’t be happier.”

When they arrived at Harry’s place, they did what they always did. Louis had homework while Harry made them dinner. Afterwards they watched some tv and got ready for the next day. By 10pm they rolled into bed, kissed for a while until both fell asleep. It was a nice routine they had developed over the past few months while dating. Louis was thinking that maybe this weekend they could go little further. Maybe he could let Harry touch him. Maybe.

On Saturday morning Louis woke up to Harry pressing against him. Harry had told him he liked to sleep naked and Louis had said it was okay. Now Harry was hard against him and he didn’t know how to react. His first instinct was to freeze and then run. But he remembered that this was Harry, his boyfriend who hadn’t ever forced him into anything he didn’t want. 

Louis turned around, so he was facing Harry, and started to give little kisses on Harry’s chest and neck. Harry groaned and pulled Louis closer. “Good morning, Harry,” Louis whispered. Harry’s eyes flew open. As soon as he noticed that he was hard, he pushed Louis away. “I’m so so sorry,” he started saying but Louis pushed back into Harry’s space. “Don’t be, I want this,” Louis assured him. Harry looked at him confused, “Really?” When Louis nodded, Harry kissed him senseless, grinding his hips against Louis’, “Baby, I’ve wanted this for so long. Tell me what you want, I’ll give you anything.”

Louis giggled, feeling happy and light. “Umm.. maybe you could wrap one of your big hands around us and get us off that way?” he asked, cheeks growing light pink. No one before had asked him what he wanted. This was the first time. Usually others just took what they were after, some making sure Louis came too but that wasn’t always the case. Harry looked at him with amazement in his eyes, while he slowly undressed Louis out of his pyjamas. “You are beautiful,” he sighed when he finally saw Louis naked. Louis blushed even harder but Harry was there to kiss him, to make him forget his shyness.

Harry’s hands wandered all over Louis, feeling, learning his naked skin. This was the first time Louis was letting Harry touch him this way. His hand wandered over Louis’ arse, finger caressing the grease between his cheeks. “Not there, I’m not ready,” Louis whispered into Harry’s neck, little ashamed. Harry immediately moved his hands away, and continued his journey from Louis’ back towards his front. “It’s okay, baby. I have all the time in the world,” Harry assured him.

Slowly he brought his hand between them, taking them both into his hand and started stroking. Louis felt like he was going to pass out, everything felt too good. “Harry, Harry, Harry,” Louis kept whining. Harry sucked a mark on his neck while stroking them faster. The pre-come was making the slide easier and the pleasure was growing in Louis’ tummy. “I’m so close,” he soon told Harry, “I want to come with you.” Feeling Harry’s hard length against his was making Louis see stars. Harry was big and so hot. “I’m close too, baby. You feel so good,” Harry replied. And then Louis was coming, all over Harry’s hand and their tummies. “So fucking hot,” Harry said and came with force while still stroking them. 

When they both were coming down from their high, Harry hold Louis tight against him, “Thank you so much for trusting me. I love you.” No one had ever said it to Louis before but he felt like he loved Harry too and he wanted to tell him so he did. “I love you, too.” Harry gave him his happiest smile and kissed him hard. “Happiest day of my life!” Louis just giggled with him. He was in love with a dork.

After that they decided to take a shower together. Louis wanted to have all the experiences he had missed with Harry while having doubts being intimate with him. Harry washed his hair and body with gentle hands while Louis enjoyed being pampered. That day they didn’t wear clothes at all, just enjoyed being naked together. And if they shared few more handjobs, who could blame them. 

When the week was over, Louis was happier than he had been in a long time. Harry was so gentle with him, so patient. Everything was going so well. Louis was finally happy again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Kudos and comments make me happy. :) Love you all!


	5. Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis finally starts seeing a therapist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry the update took me so long. I moved and got a new job so life's been a little hectic lately. New update is coming soon! And about this chapter: please don't hate me.

Few months after their first shared hand job, Louis finds himself being pushed against the wall and being kissed by Harry while whispering in his ear. “Louis, baby. Want you so much. You look so beautiful.”

His hands were wandering all over Louis’ body, undressing him while pushing him harder against the wall. Louis closed his eyes and enjoyed feeling Harry enjoying him. Letting Harry do what he wanted but knowing he would stop if Louis asked him to. When the older boy dropped on his knees and sucked Louis into his mouth, Louis sighed, “Your mouth is the best, oh my god.”

After the weekend of hand jobs and getting to know each other’s bodies, they had slowly moved to blow jobs. Louis was still very hesitant of blowing Harry, but he didn’t seem to mind. Harry loved sucking Louis off and did it almost daily while Louis just took it and enjoyed. In the past Louis had always been the one doing the sucking or jerking off. That’s why having Harry to do those things to him without having to repay the favour was all new to Louis. 

Harry took Louis even deeper in his mouth and just when he was about to come, Harry’s fingers wandered near Louis’ hole.

“Harry, what the hell!” Louis screamed and pushed him away.

Harry fell on his ass and looked up to Louis. “I’m so sorry baby. Please forgive me. I got carried away. Please forgive me,” Harry kept repeating. “I just really really want to touch you there. Your ass is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen, and I just want to pleasure you,” Harry explained.

Louis felt silly and exposed standing in Harry’s hallway without clothes, his cock now softening. “I know you want me and my arse but I’m not ready. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.”

Harry got up from the ground and slowly put his hand around Louis’ length while holding Louis close. He was testing if he was still allowed to touch him. When he realised Louis was not going to push him away, he started stroking him again while kissing his neck. “Love, have you ever thought about going to therapy?” Harry suggested just when Louis came all over his hand.

Louis sighed and rested his head on Harry’s shoulder while coming down from his high. “No. I don’t want therapy. I’m alright. Or I will be.” 

“But maybe you could think about it. I have a number for you. She used to be my therapist when I was younger, and I found out she moved here few years ago. She’s really sweet and she’s specialised in situations like yours,” Harry said while holding Louis tight. Showering him in affection and love. Louis knew Harry only wanted what was best for him. And Louis wanted to be better, he felt like his life was on hold just because he was so afraid of something happening again.

“Can I think about it?” Louis finally asked. He knew Harry was right. He needed therapy, so he could start healing. There was only so much Harry and Zayn could do for him. “Sure, love. There is no hurry. Just think about it. I’ll save her number for your phone so you can call her when you feel ready,” Harry said and kissed him. Maybe it was time to give therapy a chance. 

Few weeks later Louis found himself in a waiting room across the city. Zayn had dropped him off and Harry was going to pick him up after his meeting. Louis had finally called the therapist Harry had suggested, Helena. He had found out that Helena was specialised in rape victims and their treatment. She had worked as a child psychologist in Dublin but had decided to specialise in another field when she had moved to UK. 

And here Louis was, more nervous as he had ever been in his life. 

“Louis, you can go in now,” the receptionist said and pointed one of the doors. Louis took a deep breath and got up. He walked to the door and knocked. Helena came to open the door. “Hello, Louis. Nice to meet you. Come in.”

Helena was in her fifties, dull brown hair and quite fit for her age. She seemed like a warm person and Louis instantly felt easier. Maybe he could do this. 

The hour went by fast. Helena had asked about why he was there and Louis had ended up telling her everything. It was something about her that made Louis trust her more than anything. After hearing his story, they had agreed to meet twice a week. After coming out of the building, Louis was exhausted. Going through old memories had been hard.

“Hi, my love.” Harry greeted him when he got into the car. “How was it?” he asked little hesitant. He knew how difficult it had been for Louis to go there and they had agreed that if Louis didn’t like it, he could just drop it and Harry would never mention it again. 

“It was good. I’m going back next Thursday. I’ll be seeing her twice a week from now on.”

Louis could feel the relief Harry felt. “Good, that’s good.”

In the weeks coming, Louis saw Helena twice a week. And every time he was so tired afterwards but slowly felt that maybe, just maybe he was getting somewhere. His parents had also noticed the change in Louis. 

One morning Louis’ mom asked him, “Louis, do you have a girlfriend? You look so relaxed these days. Are you using condoms while having sex? I really don’t want to have grandchildren just yet.”

Louis almost choke on his tea. “Mom! I don’t have a girlfriend and why are you talking about condoms during breakfast. That’s gross.” 

“I was just wondering since you look happier that maybe it’s because you are having regular sex.”

His mom had never been the most subtle person in the world when it came to Louis. He couldn’t wait to move out next year. “No, no girlfriend for me. And also no sex. I need to go to school,” he answered and almost ran to the door.

“Sorry to hear that, sweetie. As long as you keep your eyes open. You should start looking at girls soon!” her mom yelled after him. Louis slammed the front door closed. He breathed hard and rested his head against the door. “Fucking parents. Always pushing me,” he mumbled as he walked to Zayn’s car.

That day at therapy he told Helena what his mom had said. “She doesn’t know you are gay?” Helena asked little confused.

“No and I’m not planning on telling her until I’ve moved out and graduated from university. They would disown me so fast if they knew.” Helena wrote something in her papers. “Do you have a partner now?”

“Yes, I do have a boyfriend. Harry, Harry Styles. You have actually treated him back in Dublin. He was the one who suggested I should come see you. He’s been so wonderful through all this.”

Louis could see the recognition flashing in Helena’s eyes when he mentioned Harry’s name. “Isn’t he older than you?” she asked. Louis knew he had made a mistake when he heard Helena ask that question. Louis was still a minor and Harry was an adult. It was illegal for them to be together.

“Shit, shit, shit.” Louis cursed quietly and answered, “Yes, he is older. But we are not having sex. We are just together. He makes me feel safe. Please don’t report us. Please.” Louis begged her.

“Louis, you know that is an illegal relationship. And I know I should report you, but since you’ve been through so much, I’m not going to. But I do think you should break up with him. He’s so much older than you and you shouldn’t be with anyone now. Not in a romantic relationship. At some point he will start asking to have sex with you and he shouldn’t do that. Not legally and not when you are just starting to heal. You shouldn’t feel pressured to do anything. Not before you are ready.”

Louis felt horrible. He had exposed Harry and now Helena was saying he shouldn’t be with him at all. “I’m gonna think about it. But just so you know, he’s not pressuring me in any way. Thank you for not reporting him.”

After he left the session and saw Harry waiting him, he broke down in tears. “I messed up,” Louis blurted out when he got inside the car. “I told her about us and she said we should break up.”

Harry looked at him horrified. “NO! No! I’m not letting you go, never! I love you Louis, you know that right!”

“I love you too, Harry. But I need to think about it. You understand that, right?” Louis asked with a small voice. Then he explained Harry what Helena had said. Harry said he understood her point, but he didn’t look happy at all.

That evening when Louis was getting ready for bed, he got a message from Harry. “Baby, I think we should take a break for a while. Come talk to me when you know if you want to be with me. I don’t want to pressure you, but I need to know if you are all in. You know you are my everything and I love you more than I have ever loved anyone before. I’ll be here if you need me but you should think what Helena said. Harry, xx”

Louis stared at the text for a long time and then he broke down in tears. He couldn’t lose Harry, not now. But maybe Harry was right. Maybe he needed to think if he wanted to be with anyone, even if he loved Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry!!!! Please don't hate me. This needed to happen.
> 
> (The story will have a happy ending, I promise.)


	6. There is light in the darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis makes one bad and one good decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!! Another update. Only one more chapter after this one. Hope you enjoy!

The upcoming weeks were hell to Harry. Louis hadn’t answered his message but he had respected Harry’s request, maybe even too literally. Harry had hoped that maybe Louis would have decided that he wanted Harry, no matter what. But it seemed that Helena’s words had made even a bigger impact on Louis than he initially said. 

So here they were. Not speaking, acting like strangers in school. Maybe this was how it was supposed to be, Harry thought. Maybe Louis needed to have some time alone. To heal. Maybe it was for the best.

Harry knew Louis was applying to universities. He had helped Louis to write essays and study for the upcoming exams. But now, Harry had no idea how that was going, or even if they would be in the same city next year. It was killing him. 

Harry would wake up in the middle of the night, in cold sweat after having nightmares about losing Louis again. He had sworn that he wouldn’t let him go. Not now, not when he had finally gotten Louis to himself. He had fallen in love, hard, harder than ever before. Every night he hoped Louis would call, or text and ask to come by but the call never came.

As the weeks went by, it seemed more and more clear that Louis had decided to move on by himself and leave Harry behind. Even if Harry knew it must have been for the best for Louis, it didn’t hurt any less. 

**1 year later**

Louis was living in London. He had gotten in to University of London to study drama and he loved it. He was planning on doing the teaching degree too, so he could become a drama teacher. His family hadn’t been supportive of his decision at all but he had gotten access to his trust fund from his grandmother who had passed away few years earlier so now he was free of his family. He swore never to return to Manchester. 

Helena had helped him immensely. But after he moved, he had had to find a new therapist. He was a nice older man that Helena had recommended to Louis. Therapy was going well and Louis had started to think about going out for dates again.

After Harry’s message to him last spring, Louis had decided to be alone for a while. He knew he had done wrong by not telling Harry his decision and not breaking up with him properly. But he also knew that if he had talked to Harry, he wouldn’t have been able to leave him. Louis still loved him so much, and now that he was feeling better and would maybe be ready to have a proper relationship, he knew he was too late to tell Harry. He had accepted that he had missed his chance. Even if Harry was the love of his life.

In university things were going well. Louis had found new friends. Zayn had moved to Liverpool for school so Louis had to find new friends. Especially he bonded with Liam and Niall. Liam was his housemate and Niall was a boy he shared a lot of classes with. Louis was quite sure Niall had a crush on him which he thought was kind of cute. It had been a long time since he had enjoyed being someone’s crush. 

On one afternoon Louis was out with Niall, having coffee while they were doing their project for one class. “Louis, would you maybe go out with me one day?” Niall asked suddenly.

Louis looked up and his face must have done something weird since Niall started backtracking fast, “Maybe not on a date-date. Just a hang-out-maybe-date? I mean you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I was just wondering…”

“Relax, Niall. I will go out with you,” Louis laughed. He had been expecting this to happen and he was ready to give Niall a chance. “Great! I will pick you up tomorrow at 8pm. Is that okay?” Niall asked while smiling wide.

“Sure. That’s fine.” Louis smiled back at him. He still felt that maybe this was a mistake since Niall was his classmate but he felt safe around him so maybe it wouldn’t be that bad.

On Friday evening, 8 o’clock there was a knock on Louis’ door. Niall was on time and Louis was running late. He opened the door and dashed back to the bathroom to fix his hair. He heard Niall laughing with Liam to his behaviour as he finished getting ready.

When he finally exited the bathroom it was worth the teasing he got earlier. Niall’s laughter stopped as soon as he saw Louis. “Wow, you look stunning.”

Louis blushed and thanked him. “So where are we going?”

“I thought we would first go out to eat in that Italian place you like and then go dancing for a bit?”

“Sure, that sounds lovely.” Niall didn’t seem to know that Louis liked his dates so they could have a proper conversation. But if this was Niall’s idea for a good first date then he would be okay with it. Maybe it was good, maybe it would take the pressure of off having to kiss. Louis wasn’t sure if he was ready for it yet.

After wonderful dinner of pasta and meatballs in the restaurant, they found themselves at the new nightclub, taking a shot after shot. Louis didn’t even remember the last time he had been so wasted. But he was having the time of his life, dancing and laughing. At some point he after maybe fifth shot of the evening he found himself grinding his ass on Niall’s front, begging him to touch him. He hadn’t been that horny for ages. 

“Please Niall, please. Touch me. Do something. Please,” Louis kept begging. Niall’s hands were wandering on Louis’ body, finally dipping inside his waistband. “You want to go home?” Niall asked while kissing his neck. “Yes!” Louis almost screamed and started pulling Niall towards the door. The boy laughed and followed him. Just when Louis got their coats he thought he saw Harry staring at him from the bar. No, it couldn’t be Harry. He wasn’t in London. Or was he? But Louis didn’t have enough time to decide what to do because then Niall kissed him and he got lost in the kiss. When he finally got a chance to look again, Harry wasn’t there and maybe he hadn’t been. Maybe it was just Louis’ drunken mind making him up. 

Suddenly he missed Harry a lot. Niall’s hands felt all wrong around him and his kisses weren’t as soft as Harry’s had been. “Niall, maybe I should go home alone.” Louis said. Niall looked up to him, “What happened? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, you were great. I’m just not feeling it anymore.”

“Oh,” Niall looked like a kicked puppy. “Sure. But maybe you could still come to my place and Netflix and chill or something? I’d hate the evening end like this.”

“Okay, we could do that.” Louis gave in. He didn’t feel like watching a movie but he hated seeing Niall like that. Louis had always been the one agreeing to everything because he didn’t want to hurt anyone. The taxi ride was quiet, Niall seemed to be deep in his thoughts and Louis couldn’t stop thinking about Harry. When they arrived at Niall’s flat, Niall poured them few shots and opened Netflix.

They drank their shots and while Niall was in the bathroom he chose them a movie. By the time Niall came back, Louis was feeling sleepy and content. He allowed Niall to sit right next to him and cuddle him. Louis rested his head on Niall’s chest and slowly fell asleep while the movie was playing in the background.

He woke up to Niall stroking his length over his jeans and kissing his neck. For a moment he thought it was Harry and it all felt so good and right. But then he heard Niall whisper, “Finally you woke up. Please, let me fuck you.”

Louis saw the movie still playing in the background, he must have been sleeping only an hour or so. “Niall, I don’t think we should…” Louis tried but Niall wasn’t having it. “You wanted to come here for Netflix and chill. Surely you knew what that meant. You were literally begging me at the club. You better be a good boy and give it to me, don’t be a cock tease.” Niall’s voice had turned so cold and steely. His hands were firmly groping Louis’ body not letting him move an inch.

And just like that Louis fell to his old habits of giving in. He hated confrontation and still had hard time saying no, just like in high school. So he just gave in. When Niall started to undress him, he let him do it. Niall put him on his back on to the couch and moved to straddle his chest. And when Niall fed his cock to Louis, he sucked it like he had always done in the past. He knew how to do it, but he hated every second of it.

“God, you are so good at this. How come we haven’t done this before. Oh my god your mouth,” Niall kept praising him while fucking his throat. Finally Niall pushed his cock deep in Louis’ throat and came. “Fucking perfect mouth. Now let’s see how your ass is,” Niall said as he pulled himself out and turned Louis on his side.

“Niall, please. You already came. Maybe we could do this another time?” Louis tried to turn Niall’s mind, but it wasn’t working. Now that Niall finally had Louis in his flat in a somewhat willing mindset, he was ready to take everything he had been dreaming of for months. “I don’t think we can. You wanted this, so now you will get it,” Niall said while he lubed his fingers and pushed them inside Louis.

Niall opened him up efficiently and fast. And then he was already pushing himself in. Luckily Niall wasn’t that big but it still hurt because it had been over a year since Louis had had anything inside him. While Niall kept pounding into him, Louis started crying. Tears were slowly running down his cheeks. He had always thought that the next (and last) person to fuck him would have been Harry. But he had screwed it all up by not thinking clearly and leaving him without a word. He deserved this, Louis thought to himself, he deserved to be fucked by Niall just because he had been so horrible to Harry.

When Niall started stroking him, making him hard, Louis cried even harder. “Why the hell are you crying, bitch? I can see you are enjoying this. Your cock is leaking all over my couch,” Niall asked but didn’t wait for an answer cause that moment he started coming second time. He pounded into Louis and hit his prostate every now and then. When Louis finally came, thanks to Niall’s hand, Niall finally pulled out. 

“Thanks for the fuck. Maybe you should go while I shower,” he said as he got up from the couch. Louis watched him leave the room, gathered his belongings and left as fast as he could. He couldn’t believe this had happened again. How come he only chose such horrible people to date? 

As he walked home, he scrolled through his phone until he found Harry’s number. Before he could stop himself, he had dialled and heard it ringing. It only took two rings before Harry answered. “Louis, is it you?”

Louis broke into tears as he heard Harry’s familiar voice again after missing it for so long. “I’m so so so sorry Harry. I’m sorry I broke up with you and not tell you. I’m sorry I didn’t answer your message. I’m sorry I left without a word. I love you, I have loved you this whole time. And I know I missed my chances with you but I just need you to know I love you more than anything. And I’m so sorry.” 

When Louis ended his rant, the line was silent. “Are you still there?” Louis asked after few more minutes of nothing.

“I saw you today. In the club. You were with someone. I was going to come say hello but you seemed.. occupied,” Harry finally said.

So, it really had been Harry, Louis thought. He suddenly wished he would have left to seek Harry out when he thought he saw him. “I thought I saw you too. I was on a date,” Louis admitted. He heard Harry take a deep breath. “But I’m not interested in him. He was the first one after..” Louis couldn’t say it. “He was the first guy I have dated here in London. And it made me realise just how much I still miss you. I’m sorry I called so late, I just needed to tell you.”

“Oh.” Harry said and he was quiet again. Just when Louis thought he had hung up on him, Harry spoke again. “I love you too, you know. I never stopped loving you.” 

It was Louis who was speechless this time. “You still love me?” He couldn’t understand how Harry could still love him, after all he had done to him.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Oh.” Louis thought for a while. “So umm, would you maybe want to meet me? If you are in London and all that.” He asked carefully. Maybe, just maybe he could have Harry back, even after the major screw up that he had done.

“Sure. Okay. How about tomorrow, breakfast at my place?”

“Sure, that sounds good. Just text me your address and I’ll be there around ten?” Louis asked. 

After they hang up, Louis got a text telling Harry address. He had added few xx’s at the end. Maybe things would turn back to good again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry again. Niall is horrible in this. I actually adore Niall quite a bit but I needed a bad guy. I will write him in another fic and make his character better. 
> 
> I love all the kudos and comments. And if you want to yell/talk/shout at me you can find me on tumblr [Nikita834](https://nikita834.tumblr.com/)


	7. The real deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Louis and Harry make all the right decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here! The final chapter. I got inspired and this story finally got the ending it deserved.
> 
> More notes at the end. Enjoy! :)

It was only 9 am when Louis found himself in front of Harry’s door. He knew he was way too early but after he went home and had showered he couldn’t sleep. The horrible memories of Niall fucking into him and the hope of seeing Harry again were too much for him to get actual rest. So here he was, sitting on top of the stairs, too afraid to ring the bell.

“You can come in you know,” he heard a voice saying behind him. It was Harry, his Harry. The one he thought he would never see again in his life. Louis got up so fast he almost fell. Harry took a hold of his arm, steadying him. His hand felt so warm through the hoodie Louis was wearing. “I wasn’t sure if I should, since I’m an hour early after all,” Louis mumbled while he followed Harry inside. 

Harry lived in a nice building not too far from Louis. It had only taken him around 10 minutes to walk there. “How long have you been staying here?” Louis asked. “I moved here about 6 months ago when I got a job here. I’m teaching geography in high school near here. Their old teacher retired in the middle of school year so they hired me to replace them. I bought this place since I fell in love with it and I’m planning on staying here quite a while.”

It seemed that Harry had taken some serious steps in his life while Louis had been gone. He looked around the apartment. It looked cosy and warm, just like Harry. He noticed there was at least three bedrooms which meant that Harry was either planning on having a family here or roommates. “Are you liking it here?” Louis asked while they walked to the kitchen.

“Yeah, it gets a little lonely some days. I haven’t found that many friends yet but I like London.”

Harry had made them waffles and bacon and eggs. Suddenly Louis realised he was starving. As they sat down, Harry made him a plate and Louis devoured it in few minutes. “Wow, you were really hungry. Don’t you eat?” Harry laughed while he watched Louis eat. “I’m actually not that great of a cook and my housemates refuse to cook for me,” Louis admitted.

“Maybe you could come by every now and then, and I could cook you. If you’d want that,” Harry said, almost scared.

“I’d really like that,” Louis answered and then decided he should just come clean about everything. “I need to tell you what happened last spring and up until I called you last night. And I hope you won’t interrupt me or I might not find the guts to tell you all of this.”

As Harry nodded him to continue, Louis started telling. “So last spring I decided I needed to be alone. But I knew that if I talked to you, I wouldn’t be able to leave you. So I did a cowardly thing and just stopped talking to you. As the time went by and I started to feel better with therapy and everything, but it seemed that too much time had passed for me to reach out to you. So I didn’t. I just tried to continue my life, while I still missed you like crazy.

“Then I got into uni to study drama and my parents flipped. We had a huge fight which lead them to throw me out when they found out I was gay. Luckily I got a little trust fund from my grandmother so I was able to afford to start uni anyway. I haven’t talked to my parents since last summer and I don’t think I ever will again.

“Since I moved here, I started seeing a new therapist, Greg. He’s so wonderful and has helped me a lot, just like Helena did. With Greg I got to a point where I thought I could start dating again. And that is where you saw me last night. I was out with Niall who goes to my uni and we share some classes. He has this huge crush on me, or I thought he had. It seems that he was only after a fuck. After the club we went to his place and I fell asleep. I woke up to him feeling me up and he basically guilt tripped me into having sex with him. After that was over I left there as soon as I could and called you. So here we are. That is everything.” Louis finished. It was a lot to get out in one go.

Louis could see Harry’s eyes radiating from anger. “That Niall guy raped you?”

That wasn’t the thing Louis thought Harry would say, but he nodded, “Or I guess I let him do it. I didn’t actually fight or anything.”

“Did you say no to him? Did you say you wanted it?”

“I did say no, but earlier I had told him I wanted him to touch me.”

“Louis! That is a rape. It doesn’t matter what you have said earlier. If in that moment you don’t want him to touch you, he shouldn’t. He should have stopped as soon as you said no or you showed any sign of not wanting it.” Harry put his head into his hands. “It kills me to know that you think so lowly of yourself. That you think that your body is a playground anyone can use.” Suddenly Harry took Louis’ hands into his and looked him deep in the eyes, “Louis, baby, you matter. What you say matter. If you feel like not doing something with someone, you have every right to say no and the other person has to stop what they are doing. Do you get that?”

“Like it was with you?” Louis asked with a small voice.

“Yes, just like it was with me,” Harry sighed.

“Will you take me back? Even if I screwed up so bad. But I still love you and I want to be with you. Only you. I don’t even want anyone else. Only you.”

Harry hesitated for a minute. “Is this because I make you feel safe? Is that the only reason you want to be with me?”

“NO! Of course not. It’s because I cannot stop thinking about you. I cannot see my life without you. I need you Harry. More than anything. I need you.” Louis broke down in tears. Pitiful little whimpers were coming out of him while big tears were rolling down his cheeks.

Harry pulled him into his lap and Louis instantly buried his head into Harry’s neck. He inhaled Harry’s familiar scent while slowly calming down. Harry’s hands were rubbing his back and he kept whispering sweet nothings into Louis’ ear in effort to calm him down. 

“I need to say something and I want you to listen to me. And after that you can decide what you want. Okay?” Harry asked and Louis nodded. He was afraid that Harry would tell him he had a boyfriend. Because fuck, why would Harry still be single after all this time.

“Louis, I still love you. I love you very much. And I’d be thrilled to have you back.”

Louis couldn’t stop the smile spreading on his face. 

“But.” Of course there was a but, this had been too easy. “Haha, don’t look so sad. Hear me out first,” Harry laughed. “You need to commit to me. If we are doing this again, I need you to be all in. I want you to move in and I want you to be my proper boyfriend. No more hiding, no more secrets, no more disappearing from my life. If you want me, you need to take all of me. You can have your own room, as you can see I have enough space. But I need you to be here, so I know you are safe. And when the time feels right, you can move to my room. Those are my conditions. Maybe you should take a couple of days. Talk to your therapist, talk to your friends. But if you want me, you know my terms. And if you decide you want to continue your journey alone, that is good too. I’ll be heartbroken of course but it’s your decision.”

Louis looked at Harry and saw him being serious about this. He wanted Louis, he wanted Louis so much that he wanted him to move in, to share their every day life. And he gave Louis space to heal at the same time. Louis kissed Harry’s lips softly. It felt like coming home, he felt so familiar.

Harry’s grip on Louis tightened. “Please don’t tease me. If I start kissing you, I will never stop. You should go now. Think about this. But don’t leave me hanging. If you don’t want to be with me, text me this time. Okay?” Harry teased him, even though Louis could tell he was being deadly serious.

“I’ll do that,” Louis said while he got up. It was hard to leave Harry this time, but he knew now that he had the option to come back. He really needed to clear his mind and decide if he was ready to be with Harry for real.

 

After few days, Harry heard a knock on his door. He was expecting a grocery delivery, so he ran to the door. But when he opened it there was Louis. He had few luggage’s filled to the brim and a smile on his face. “I heard there was a room available and a boyfriend? Is this the right address?”

Harry felt like his heart was going to stop. He took Louis into his arms and whirled him around. When he finally lowered him back on the ground he kissed him so deeply that Louis lost his breath. “Yes! I love you!” Harry shouted while peppering Louis in small kisses all over. “Let’s get you inside.”

They took Louis’ bags into separate bedroom but then Louis quietly asked if he could stay with Harry. He really didn’t want to sleep alone anymore. Harry happily carried the bags into his room. And that was it, Louis had moved in.

That evening when they were watching telly, Louis said, “So I spoke with my therapist. He agreed with everything you had told me earlier about what Niall did. And I do get it now. My opinion matters too. But at the same time, he was said that you have always been good to me so maybe I should give you a chance. Even if they don’t recommend starting a new relationship so soon after everything but you know my history. You know every horrible little detail. And I feel so safe with you that even Greg said I shouldn’t deny myself a chance of happiness. Liam was devastated when I told him I’d be moving out but I’m sure once he gets to know you, it will be good. He will see how happy I am with you.”

Harry looked at Louis and smiled. He was so happy to have him there, for real this time. “I want to be with you forever. I love you so much.” Harry said and kissed Louis. Louis eagerly answered and soon he was on Harry’s lap, grinding down on his cock. After a while Harry had to stop him, “Baby, I love you so much but you need to stop doing that. I want you so badly but I won’t fuck you until you want me to.”

“What if I said I want you to fuck me?”

“Are you serious? Are you ready for it?”

“Yes. I want you to fuck me so I can forget all the bad times I had. I want to make new beautiful memories with you.”

Harry looked at him disbelief. “Okay. But you know you can say stop at any time and I will. No matter what we are doing. Okay?”

“Okay.”

They took a shower together where Harry washed Louis very thoroughly. Then he lead him to their bedroom where he gently helped Louis on the bed on his tummy. Louis felt Harry hovering over him as Harry took in all the golden skin. His hands touched Louis everywhere while his mouth kissed every inch of Louis’ body. When he got to Louis arse, he could feel Harry hesitating a little. “Go ahead, I trust you,” Louis said and that was all Harry needed.

He opened Louis’ cheeks with his big hands and slowly kissed and probed him open first with his tongue and then with his fingers. Louis had never felt so loved and so cared for. It was the first time having something in him was actually pleasurable. When Louis was open enough, Harry turned them around so Louis was laying on top of him. 

“I want you to go in your own pace. I’m ready when you are.” Harry said while his cock was probing Louis’ entrance. Then he kissed him and as the kiss grew more passionate, Louis slowly lowered himself until he bottomed out. They both let out a breath when Louis sat tightly on Harry’s cock. “You have never looked more beautiful,” Harry kept praising him, “so tight and hot. My beautiful boy.”

Harry started to fuck into Louis slowly while hitting his prostate with every thrust. The pleasure Louis felt was overwhelming. He felt the love radiating from every move Harry made, even the hands that were holding tight on Louis’ hips and were surely leaving marks, were because he wanted Louis to feel safe. 

When Harry’s thrusts turned irregular and he lost his rhythm, Louis got up and got on his side. “Fuck me and hold me.”

Harry did as he was told. He spooned Louis close and slowly fucked into him. He took Louis into his hand and stroked him in time of his thrusts. Harry enjoyed the little noises Louis let out without even thinking. “I love you so much,” Harry said when he finally reached his high and came hard inside Louis. That same moment Louis came all over Harry’s hand. “I love you too.”

While they cuddled after Harry had cleaned them, Louis admitted, “I wish this is how I had learned making love is. I just wish we would have had this from the start. That I wasn’t so broken.” Harry tightened his arms around Louis. “But you are here now, safe in my arms and that is all that matters. I love you more than anything and I’m never letting you go again. You are stuck with me for the rest of your life, Tomlinson.”

“I like the sound of that, Styles. Maybe one day we both be Styles’. How do you like that?”

“Yes! I’d love that!” Harry said and kissed Louis until they fell asleep. Louis was finally happy.

 

Their life wasn’t easy from then on. Louis was still recovering so naturally he had many bad days. But having Harry there and going to therapy helped him a lot. Louis didn’t end up as drama teacher, but he started working in charity meant for rape victims. 

One afternoon he had found Harry’s box of Louis’ clothes from the rape nights back in Manchester as well as all the photos Louis had found from Mike’s place. Louis was furious but after a while he had decided to go to the police. With the photos and Louis’ clothes they were able to build a case against of all of the men that had raped Louis, except Niall. But all the others got sentenced and a mark on their criminal records. Matt and Mike got the sent away for longest because they basically kidnapped Louis. After the court case, Louis’ parents tried to reach out to him, but he denied them every time. He had Harry now and his new life. And his rapists had gotten what they deserved. He was finally happy.

After being together for five years they got married. Louis got the dream wedding he always had wished for while Zayn and Liam being his bestmen. 

Yes, life wasn’t easy. But they made it work. And they loved each other and that was the only thing that mattered at the end of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot thank you enough for reading this. Thank you so much for your lovely comments and that you haven't given up on me and my weird updating schedule. 
> 
> Hope you are happy with the ending this story has. I enjoyed writing it. But I have to admit that this has been the hardest fic to write and I really struggled at times. 
> 
> Thank you for your comments and kudos. It's all highly appreciated. Love you lots!!
> 
> (P.S. Remember the dark Harry tag this fic has? Well, I have written few chapters from Harry's point of view. I will publish them in a separate fic. But I HIGHLY suggest you won't read it if you want Harry to be the good guy he is now.)
> 
> Thank you once again!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.
> 
> If you are raped, don't do what Louis did. Go to police, don't shower before. Go and report them!
> 
> My tumblr is [nikita834](https://nikita834.tumblr.com/) if you want to contact me.


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